


Cuffed

by TheBrilliantLoser



Category: Unsounded
Genre: Bickering, Gen, Gen Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-14
Updated: 2013-08-14
Packaged: 2017-12-23 11:11:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/925700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBrilliantLoser/pseuds/TheBrilliantLoser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you get when you handcuff a grumpy zombie and a cheeky rogue together?<br/>Bickering, mostly.<br/>Crackfic. Gen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cuffed

**Author's Note:**

> The reasoning behind the handcuffs is rather lamely contrived, and I'm nigh-positive I committed a malapropism with the term 'noctilucent'.  
> Ah! Also grammar issues.  
> Mostly I just wanted to write bickering between this duo and the situation seemed amusing.  
> 

"Look what you have done now, I repeatedly requested you replace those manacles and leave them be. Alas, naught would discourage you." The cowled figure sighed, tinkering with the restraint currently around one unnaturally thin wrist before reaching for his satchel. 

The smaller figure behind him sparked with indignation, her Shartshanian drawl failing to mask any of her annoyance. 

"‘S your fault anyways, ya didn’t need to go grabbin’ them from me grip so quick.” she quipped, fidgeting with the corresponding cuff accidentally attached to her own. ” Why’ve you got them fixed up so tight anyways, it’s not proper for your restraints t’be pymarically sizin’ down tight automagictally.” she added. 

”Automatically.” the tall man corrected, apparently searching for a key. 

” S’what I said.” Sette quipped back before turning to her reluctant patron. ” Have ya got the keys yet?” She asked, a cheeky smile on her face. 

“The key is not anywhere to be found.” He replied, a slightly dour smirk glancing across his glamour momentarily. 

Sette’s own grin faltered for a moment before returning as she chirped: “S’alright, just use your arts t’break it.” as she continued to squirm and attempt to remove the pymarically taut restraint from her own wrist. Duane hesitated a moment before closing the bag and responding. 

“A solution so facile is, unfortunately, unattainable.” he stated.

After a brief rephrasing, a distressed squawk rose from the trail.  
“WHAT DO YA MEAN YOU CAN’T BREAKIT OFF WITH PYMARY?!”

This was promptly mirrored by an exasperated reply of almost equal volume. “Sette! Proffer me audience for one moment! The spell-work enchanted in these shackles were forged during a grim and delirious time. I… I do not properly recall the complex enchantments I devised to undue them, nor could they’ve been simple lest I undue them during periods between sanity and those of noctilucent, unsound madness. Furthermore, currently accessible aspects would prove too unwieldy to remove the restraints. Hence the key.” He finished. 

Sette considered a moment before trying: “Soooo, you can’t blast it off?” She asked. 

“No, I can not.” He replied.

The duo stood quietly for a few passing moments, possibly considering the distasteful idea of being stuck cuffed together for an extended period. Sette jumped slightly, glancing at Duane before once again adopting a cheeky, Cheshire grin. 

“Break your arm off!” She proclaimed, only to meet a rather succinct, 

“No.”

“Why not? It ain’t like it pains ya!” She reasoned, flustering the Galit who responded: 

“In a manner of speaking it would. Moreover I’ve mechanical braces and rigging not flippantly undone, and the situation does not require such measures.” He countered. “A moderately populated village is three hours trek east. Surely a qualified locksmith resides within the parameters.” He offered. 

Sette exclaimed ” Balls! We don’t need no smith! I’m the best lock-pick in all’ve Shartshane! In the world!" to which her companion lightheartedly quipped. 

“If this is the case, why do these shackles still hamper us?” 

They headed for the road.

“Well, I can’t go givin’ me services for free y’know!”


End file.
